Slender Man – Somer Valley FM Film Review

Written by on 29/08/2018

Well, now you should know better than clicking a suspicious link. This is the Somer Valley FM Film Review. And this time, you have to be careful on the Internet because you may run into The Slender Man.

Four Friends are bored on a Friday night in a sleepy American small town. Wren, Hallie, Chloe and Katie decide to partake in a piece of internet folklore summoning the mysterious figure, Slender Man. This faceless being torments the four friends and leads them in a merry dance to their gruesome end.

For those that don’t know Slender Man is a creepypasta, an internet forum version of those urban myths people used to tell around campfires, like Bloody Mary. He is a tall, slender figure, with a blank face and suit. He is also responsible for the disappearance of children and driving others mad. There are many types of Slender Man stories, with diverse mythology, but these are the core tenants of each tale.

This story is also old the character first appeared in 2009, which in internet years is nearly 100, so when Sony announced that they were making a film about the smartly dressed monster, my first reaction was, Oh yeah Slender Man, he was a thing.

The Slender Man film’s cinematography is stylish, and it is clear that the film wants to have it follows levels of the atmosphere, but thanks to an amateurish understanding of plot and character the film feels disjointed. Things happen because they must. The machinations of our villain nor the curiosity of our characters doesn’t drive the story. So it just drifts from cliched jump scare to jump scare, mainly focused out to the audience rather than our “characters” who do not behave or talk like real people. In amongst this predictable rambling narrative are some interesting music video-esque sequences thrown in to break up the monotony.

Slender Man shows it’s internet origins in the same way that the 50 Shades franchise does. It has professionals trying to make it look good. They are responsible for some interesting glimpses at what it could have been. But that doesn’t hide the dodgy angsty 12-year-old fanfiction that it calls a story.

Thanks for reading this latest Somer Valley FM Film Review, you can listen to the radio broadcast here on the Somer Valley FM website, or if you want to read a full review and are looking for blasts from the Somer Valley FM Past head on over to my blog: Corrupted Record


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